I was driving along the highway a few nights back and on the radio was the song That's what friends are for by Dionne Warwick. The chorus of the song goes like that:
Truly, the aforementioned few lines attest to a true friend that anyone would treasure. It also tells us what it takes to build an authentic and endearing bond of friendship. It reverberates the words of a wise saying -A friend in need is a friend indeed. Certainly, many of us will identify one who stands by us in times of adversity as a dear friend.
However, in our endeavours to comfort our loved ones, we sometimes find them not being receptive to our words of advice, sometimes we might find ourselves not saying the right things and other times, we might get frustrated with them speaking so much and we do not have much airtime in the conversation. This sparks of some feelings of frustration and self-pity. However in the midst of the frustration, we really need to call to mind the intent of our very act of reaching out to our friend- it really just to just be there and be a bearer of hope for the person., it is important to note that its more FOR THEM than FOR OURSELVES, hence our agendas are secondary. Of course, it is a bonus if we propose some wise directions, however if we are too forceful about it, the whole plan might backfire, our good intent might be misunderstood and the whole situation might turn ugly.
The key word here is empathy. We really have to put ourselves in the shoes of the other party, as much as we might think that we fully understand how he/she feels, we might not actually know. We need to really engage the heart of the other person, to really feel for him/her rather than be concerned with getting our point across, lest it will result in an undesirable outcome. If our primary consideration is to get our proposition across, aren't we deviating from our original intent in the first place? Loving someone means not imposing your ways on him/her yea, its to respect his/her right to make a choice and still offer support when the need arises.
Food for thought:
~ Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy. ~
~ Empathy is the lovefire of sweet remembrance and shared understanding. ~
Let us therefore strive to be people of empathy and better friends to the people around us.
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Knowing you can always always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Truly, the aforementioned few lines attest to a true friend that anyone would treasure. It also tells us what it takes to build an authentic and endearing bond of friendship. It reverberates the words of a wise saying -A friend in need is a friend indeed. Certainly, many of us will identify one who stands by us in times of adversity as a dear friend.
However, in our endeavours to comfort our loved ones, we sometimes find them not being receptive to our words of advice, sometimes we might find ourselves not saying the right things and other times, we might get frustrated with them speaking so much and we do not have much airtime in the conversation. This sparks of some feelings of frustration and self-pity. However in the midst of the frustration, we really need to call to mind the intent of our very act of reaching out to our friend- it really just to just be there and be a bearer of hope for the person., it is important to note that its more FOR THEM than FOR OURSELVES, hence our agendas are secondary. Of course, it is a bonus if we propose some wise directions, however if we are too forceful about it, the whole plan might backfire, our good intent might be misunderstood and the whole situation might turn ugly.
The key word here is empathy. We really have to put ourselves in the shoes of the other party, as much as we might think that we fully understand how he/she feels, we might not actually know. We need to really engage the heart of the other person, to really feel for him/her rather than be concerned with getting our point across, lest it will result in an undesirable outcome. If our primary consideration is to get our proposition across, aren't we deviating from our original intent in the first place? Loving someone means not imposing your ways on him/her yea, its to respect his/her right to make a choice and still offer support when the need arises.
Food for thought:
~ Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy. ~
~ Empathy is the lovefire of sweet remembrance and shared understanding. ~
Let us therefore strive to be people of empathy and better friends to the people around us.
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